THAT - AMERICAN GUY

'Muslim Eye for the American Guy,' premiering this fall, aims to improve US image abroad. Makeover to include everything except a substantive change in American foreign policy.



Each member of the cast of 'Muslim Eye' has his own unique skill. From left, Jarfouz, the Arabic language specialist; Mohammad, the Islamic fashion guru; Hassam, the militant fundamentalist; Muhammed, the media analyst; and Hiram, the foreign policy wonk.

Mecca--Meet Hassam, Jarfouz, Mohammad, Hiram and Muhammed, the cast of the makeover show that is sweeping the nation and promises to improve the image of the United States in the eyes of Muslims around the world.

It's called "Muslim Eye for the American Guy" and it is the first of many spin-offs planned for the popular "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" series featured on Bravo.

"Muslim Eye" was born out of the growing anti-Americanism in Middle Eastern and Muslim nations resulting from their sneaking suspicion that we are trying to kill them. According to a recent report released by a panel of experts chosen by the Bush administration, good will towards America has plummeted in the past year, from Jordan to Indonesia.

The report, "Changing Minds, Winning Peace", found that 61 percent of Indonesians say the US is the Great Satan and 99 percent of Jordanians have a picture of Bush over the bullseye on their dart boards.



State Department official Jonathan Sperling gets a crash course in rocket launching from Hassam, the militant Islamic fundamentalist Muslim guy, as part of the Muslimization process.

"Anyone want to bet on which way public opinion is leaning on the Arab street in Iraq, Gaza and Saudi Arabia?" Hiram, the foreign policy expert, asked rhetorically. "But that's OK, we're here to help."

Further complicating the situation is neoconservative Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz. He came up with the idea to make minor cosmetic changes to the US propaganda effort as a way to avoid any serious reevaluation of American foreign policy.

"The bottom line is we gotta have that oil. It's a strategic necessity and if any interruption occurs in the flow of oil to the homeland our our whole way of life will come crashing down like a tomahawk missle on an Iraqi camel herder," he said, using exactly the kind of language that made the makeover necessary. "So what we're trying to do here is put a happy face on our American brand of imperialism. This is all about packaging."

And the "packaging" is where the Muslim guys come in.

Mohammad, not to be confused with Muhammed, will lead the way by advising US government officials on how to dress when visiting foreign countries or infiltrating terrorist cells.



Secretary of State Colin Powell puts some of his new found Arabic language skills to good use with some one-liners to lighten the mood at a recent meeting with Saudi government officials.

"I hate to say it but you might as well just burn everything in your closet along with your American flag because none of it's going to fly here in Tehran," he warned with head cocked and hands on his hips, the way Muslims often do. "Oh my god, is this a velour tank top?!"

Jarfouz, the Arabic language teacher got busy feeding US diplomats key phrases to use in casual conversation with Muslim arabs.

"Unlike your selective use of Spanish to order mas cerveza at a Mexican restaurant or to find the bathroom, your Arabic will have to be a little more in depth," he instructed. "In a few short hours I'm going to teach you everything you'll need to speak fluently about jihad, Shari`ah law and sand."

Hiram noted that it won't matter how well American diplomats speak Arabic as long as the anti-Muslim, George W. Bush, is in office.

"Seriously, the Bush Doctrine? Going to war with Iraq when they didn't have any weapons or ties to al Qaeda? The terrorists are lining up to kill Americans soldiers in Iraq right now and no amount of spin or 'public diplomacy' will help," Hiram revealed. "I'm sorry, we are absolutely fabulous at what we do but the United States isn't Helen Keller and we damn sure aren't miracle workers."

America next door

[ Georgia's Velvet Revolution, Good Omen for Region
Tehran Times - By M.A. Saki
Nov 25, 2003


Eduard Shevardnadze bowed to popular will on Sunday and stepped down from office. His resignation was the culmination of almost daily protests that followed a disputed parliamentary election on November 2 that officially returned pro-government parties to power. ] - MORE

Will this give Iran's pro democracy faction the will to try the same thing? Very interesting times are ahead. With Iran's Majlis (Parliament) elections coming up in February, Georgia's revolution, and Israels plans for air strikes on Iran's nuclear facilities, who knows what will happen?

[ As Iran moves toward nuclear weapons, Israel mulls a pre-emptive air strike
News Sentinel - By Zev Chafets (of the NY Daily News)
Nov 25, 2003


Earlier this month, supporters of Israel were outraged to learn that according to a poll conducted by the European Commission, 59 percent of Europeans regard the Jewish state as the single greatest threat to world peace.

This statistic has been loudly denounced as yet another example - as if more were needed - of Europe's chronic anti-Semitism.

And yet the Europeans aren't necessarily wrong about the threat to their security. In fact, nothing imperils world peace, such as it is, more than Israel's disinclination to be the target of Iranian nuclear weapons.

In the last few weeks, Israeli officials have made a series of declarations that they won't permit Iran to get its hands on atomic weapons. These statements should be taken with extreme seriousness, because they echo similar warnings on the eve of Israel's decisive 1981 air strike on an Iraqi nuclear reactor.

This attack - although not Saddam Hussein's virtually unopposed effort to get his hands on nukes - was denounced by the entire world. But the following day, an unrepentant Menachem Begin held a news conference in Jerusalem. The Israeli prime minister announced that Israel would not sit back idly while its enemies developed tools of extermination. Although he didn't use the term, he was essentially promulgating a policy of regional pre-emption.

Not all Israelis agreed with this policy. Indeed, many senior Israeli leaders had opposed the attack itself. Some generals thought it was operationally impossible. Diplomats were concerned that it would inspire a horrific international response.

Begin listened to the naysayers, weighed his own understanding of the responsibilities, post-Auschwitz, of an Israeli prime minister and went ahead. He wouldn't have done it without the strong support of his minister of defense, Ariel Sharon.

Fast-forward 22 years. Sharon, now prime minister himself, again faces the prospect of nuclear weapons in the hands of a radical Islamic enemy, Iran. And suddenly the Begin Doctrine - dormant for a generation - is back on full display.] - MORE



I've been prediciting this. Now it looks more and more likely to occur. How will Iranians respond? I don't mean the government, but the people of Iran. With the recent events in Georgia, I wonder if it might spark an uprising against the clerical regime???

On Monday President khatami made an historic annoucement. It hardly made a blip on the radar screen.

From the major American think tank - Stratfor

"Iranian President Mohammad Khatami has quietly announced his
recognition of the Iraqi Governing Council and acceptance of the
U.S. timeline on the transfer of power in Iraq. The announcement
speaks to a partnership that will direct the future course of
Iraq. The alliance is of direct short-term benefit to both
countries: The United States gains a partner to help combat Sunni
insurgents, and Iran will be able to mitigate the long-standing
threat on its western border. What is most notable is that,
though there has been no secrecy involved, the partnership has
emerged completely below the global media's radar. " - The Stratfor weekly (newsletter)

He said specifically, "We recognize the Iraqi
Governing Council and we believe it is capable, with the Iraqi
people, of managing the affairs of the country and taking
measures leading toward independence."

So where are the big news headlines?

The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful. First grade...true story: One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home.

She read: "...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw
and said 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The teacher paused...

...then asked the class, "And what do you think the man said?"

One little boy raised his hand and said:

"I think he said, HOLY SHIT? A TALKING PIG!!!"

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 MINUTES.

...A bold prediction, I know. It's just a hunch I have. We'll have to wait and see how he holds up, but I have a feeling. For some reason it just sounds right to me. Try saying it: "President Clark"...see how it just rolls off the tongue? I haven't been impressed with GW Bush so far, and since us Californians are such "trend setters", I doubt GW Bush will get re-elected. So much can happen in a year's time.

At this point, the terrorists probably have the most influence on who will be our next president, as anyone. What they fail to realise though, is their tactics are more likely to get them the opposite of what they want.

Just kidding ya know. *Really they are part of a Qajar Era photo exposition.

Here is a several month old article by Joe Klein of Time magazine. The always interesting, Whoman turned me onto it several months ago. I remember the concept of "The Fatal Hug" often in my musings, but I had forgotten where I'd first read about the idea.


["A year ago in Tehran, I noticed a defiantly goofy graffito inscribed on the wall of the old U.S. embassy building, the compound where the American hostages were held in 1979: ON THE DAY THE U.S. WILL PRAISE US, WE WILL MOURN. This was an official slogan — in Iran, as in America, graffiti are the work of miscreants, but in Iran the miscreants run the country — and it was an unintentionally revealing one: the mullahs are terrified of better relations with the U.S. Without the Great Satan, they have no excuse for, and no way to divert attention from, the dreadful brutality of their rule. A wicked thought occurred to me at the time, and recurred last week, as the Bush Administration continued its foolish refusal to meet with the North Koreans: Why not do the one thing that would most discomfort, and perhaps even destabilize, the precarious regimes of the Ayatollah Khamenei, Kim Jong Il and — for that matter — Fidel Castro and Muammar Gaddafi? Why not just say, "We hereby grant you diplomatic recognition, whether you like it or not. We're naming an ambassador. We're lifting the embargo. We're going to let our companies sell you all sorts of cool American things like Big Macs and Hummers. This doesn't mean we approve of the way you run your country, but it's silly for us to deny that you're in charge ... for now"?

Diplomacy is rarely so rash. And yet, "It would certainly catch the mullahs by surprise," says Azar Nafisi, an Iranian dissident who is a fellow at the Johns Hopkins School of Advanced International Studies. "It would drive them crazy," she adds, laughing, "the thought of having an American embassy in Tehran again, with lines of people around the block, trying to get green cards. There is a theory that American cultural and economic power is so insidiously attractive that opening up to the U.S. would be the death of these regimes. I've heard it called the Fatal Hug."]

I think it sounds like a marvelous idea! Read the rest here.

(Click on image to read article)

...I'm Speechless. (But not because I'm in the middle of a kiss ;-)

Statements from which of these countries carries more weight in the Islamic Republic?
-- Russia 28.41 % (25)
-- France 2.27 % (2)
-- USA 32.95 % (29)
-- China 0.00 % (0)
-- Japan 0.00 % (0)
-- Britain 31.82 % (28)
-- Germany 4.55 % (4)
Total Votes: 88

By carries more weight I would think that means that their word is more believable or that it has more effect. I'm a little surprised that Russia is so close to the US. So am I to believe that Japan is not believable at all and Britains word is like gold? And why is Russia so well respected? Well, at least I'm glad to see that Iranians aren't paying too much attention to the French. Either am I. If you can enlighten me, at all, I'd appreciate it. ;-)

From SMCCDI: daneshjoo.org

SMCCDI News
Maverick kidnapped student held by Judiciary's Intelligence
SMCCDI (Information Service)
Nov 13, 2003



Latest reports on the kidnapping of Ahmad Batebi are stating that the maverick student, pictured on the cover of the London Economist, is being held by the Intelligence Unit of the regime's Judiciary force.

The infamous Judge Mortazavi, known as the "Butcher of Press" and involved in the murder of the Iranian-Canadian Journalist Ziba (Zahra) Kazemi, is the responsible for Batebi's abduction and capitivity.

Batebi's kidnapping follows the meeting he had with the visiting UN Rights envoy. He had used his vacation time, from prison, in order to see Ambeyi Ligabo and to give him informations on the fate of his comrades held in the Islamic regime's prisons.

He was initially arrested in the aftermath of the bloody crackdown on July 9th 1999 Student Uprising and tortured by the security apparatus. Condemened to death, his life was saved by a wave of international protests and intervention of NGO's groups as well as, Mr. Xavier De Villepin, the head of the French Senate's Foreign Affair committee, alarmed following the publication of Ahmad's public letter by SMCCDI.

Batebi's sentence was reduced to 15 years of imprisonment for the "crime" of having raised the BLOODED T-Shirt of a killed student in quest of Justice. He was charged as "Having raised the RED colored flag of rebellion" by the Islamic judges.

In his shocking letter, translated and available on the "Fax and Documents" of the Movement's website and mass e.mailed, Batebi was describing his harsh treatement by the regime's Judiciary and Intelligence forces.

The letter can be seen at: http://www.daneshjoo.org/article/publish/article_88.shtml


© Copyright 2003 SMCCDI: daneshjoo.org




Click on Ahmad's image above to read Amnesty Internatinal article about him, and use their form to write a letter to Iranian President Khatami.

George W. Bush's Executive Order's as follows:

"On November 14, 1979, by Executive Order 12170, the President declared a national emergency with respect to Iran pursuant to the International Emergency Economic Powers Act (50 U.S.C. 1701-1706) to deal with the unusual and extraordinary threat to the national security, foreign policy, and economy of the United States constituted by the situation in Iran. Because our relations with Iran have not yet returned to normal, and the process of implementing the January 19, 1981, agreements with Iran is still underway, the national emergency declared on November 14, 1979, must continue in effect beyond November 14, 2003. Therefore, consistent with section 202(d) of the National Emergencies Act (50 U.S.C. 1622(d)), I am continuing for 1 year this national emergency with respect to Iran.
This notice shall be published in the Federal Register and transmitted to the Congress.

GEORGE W. BUSH

THE WHITE HOUSE,

November 12, 2003.

END..."



Photo: Courtesy of CIA

Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, whom CNN quotes as saying: "No intimidation will budge us from our willingness to help [Iraq] rise up again and rebuild itself with self-government, security and freedom."

Bravo Mr. Berlusconi! I feel exactly the same way.

- Prime minister Berlusconi. Photo courtesy "Yahoo!"

From an article on Yahoo News:

[The Nasiriyah attack was the deadliest against an American ally since the occupation began and appeared to send a message that international organizations are not safe anywhere in Iraq (news - web sites). It came on the same day the chief U.S. administrator for Iraq went to the White House to put forth proposals on transferring more authority to the Iraqis.


Col. Gianfranco Scalas said 18 Italians were killed: 12 Carabinieri paramilitary police, four soldiers, a civilian working at the base and a documentary filmmaker. A spokesman for the U.S.-led coalition said at least eight Iraqis also died. The bomber — whose nationality was not known — also died.


The blast wounded 79 people, 20 of them Italians, hospital sources and Italian officials said.


Italians were stunned by their nation's single worst military loss since World War II and its first in the Iraq campaign. At Rome's tomb of the unknown soldier, the green-white-and-red flag rippled at half-staff, and parliament held a minute of silence.


Italian Premier Silvio Berlusconi pledged that Italy's mission in Iraq would not be derailed. Opposition leaders who opposed the deployment to postwar Iraq called on the government to withdraw the contingent.


Jalal Talabani, the head of the Iraqi Governing Council, called the slain Italians "martyrs of the fight for the freedom of Iraq."]

[No More Mr. Nice Guy


Coalition forces are getting more aggressive in their efforts to secure Iraq, the Los Angeles Times reports, describing an operation in Mamudiyah, south of Baghdad:

U.S. soldiers and Iraqi police arrived at the sprawling three-family farmhouse just after 4 p.m. with orders for the 15 or so people still living there: Grab what you can in the next 30 minutes, and then leave. Your house is about to be bombed.

Two hours later on Monday, a pair of F-16 warplanes screamed overhead and dropped 1,000-pound laser-guided armaments on the boxy, concrete structure. The bombs left a deep crater strewn with smashed furniture, broken concrete and other debris. The lawn, shed and date trees around it remained intact.

U.S. military authorities said the bombing of the Najim family house was a prime example of a firm new response to those who plant roadside bombs, hide weapons or carry out ambushes that kill or harm American soldiers, and they want the people in these parts to know about it. . . .

"The message is this: If you shoot at an American or a coalition force member, you are going to be killed or you are going to be captured, and if we trace somebody back to a specific safe house, we are going to destroy that facility," said Maj. Lou Zeisman, a paratroop officer of the Army's 82nd Airborne Division deployed here from Fayetteville, N.C. "We are not going to take these continuous attacks."

Hear hear. And let's not hear any more about how Israel is "overreacting" when it does exactly the same thing.]- Area between brackets not written by me. It's from the Wall Street Journal's - "Opinion Journal".


I must admit I have spoken out against Israel when they do the same thing. Considering all the lives that were lost though, it doesn't seem like an over reaction at all. War is war. If those loyal to Saddam think they can win, they will continue to fight. I don't think they can win. They must surrender. Actions like this should help to bring them to that realisation.

I just came across one of those cost of war in Iraq counters, I'm sure you've all seen on some blogs. It's closing in on $85 billion. That sounds like a lot of money, and it is. but to put things in perspective I decided to figure out how much that means to each taxpayer:

Estimated 2003 US population - 285,000,000

Cost of war in Iraq - $85,000,000

Your share, per US citizen - $298.24 Per household - $772.45 - so far

Based upon the latest median household income figures that comes out to 0.146% of household income.

I'm Alexander Hamilton. Although, with only 8 questions it can't be all that accurate. Can it? Hmmmmmm.....

Discovered at: "The Conch"

Iluminating article about California's Iranian community. Read it here, in - "The New Yorker".

I found the article interesting. At least one person I've come across took issue with the part about Iranian Muslims and Jews picking fights with each other. I'm sure it's not the norm, but I have no doubt it happens. The author is an Iranian herself, so I can't imagine what her motives would be to make it up.

I think she paints as accurate a picture as one could in the space alloted. It's a very good article. I learned a few things I did not know, and some of my personal observations were confirmed.

And thankfully, she reminded me that I haven't had any Mashti Malone's Rosewater ice cream in almost a year! Yikes, I must get some soon. It's the desert of gods, I'm telling you! Yum yum.